I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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