So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
