my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
