I wish I could teleport
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
