R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
