That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
