If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
