In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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