Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
