the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
