He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
