I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
