names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
