my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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