Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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