he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
either way he was missing a nipple.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
