If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
