HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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