He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
