yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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