Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
