I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
