It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
