If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
