at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
