I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
