just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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