Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
