sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
