thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
