8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think im going to throw up on grandma
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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