I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
