You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
