i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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