I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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