I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
