I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
