so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Is Oprah even human
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
