the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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