i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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