so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
This is my gift to your gina
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
