chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
