You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
