Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When are your genitals available?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
