That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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