Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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