it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
