I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
