did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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