Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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